Are you familiar with the Barbie Doll Complex? I’ve heard of it but on a Tinder date, a late 30-something told me that he went through what he recounted as a “Miss Potato Head” phase. I couldn’t respond because I wasn’t sure we were thinking of the same thing.
Explain. And. Please. Don’t. Stop. This is what guys really come up with?
He coined it that when a guy dates for so long he feels like he can have it all. He can take this girl’s tits, that girl’s ass, and another’s petite features and make the perfect girl. I couldn’t believe what he was saying and the best part was he f*cking believed it-maybe this is why he was single at 38 and going out with a 29-year-old.
As a female, when you have been dating for a long time, you begin to realize the clear advantage men have. They can be so cavalier in their confidence and expectations that they have the nerve to tell you on the first date their standards in just looks for women.
Why Does the Barbie Doll Complex Exist?
There is a clear disparity that exists between the standard (which is perpetuated in the media and porn) that women are expected to operate at compared to the opposite sex. In the competitive dating world, women have to be pretty much perfect akin to a Barbie. They need to be waxed, highlighted, poised with the right clothes, and in-shape curves. On the other hand, guys only have to be “casual” in their appearance; we clap and get excited if they have a clean shirt on with no ketchup stains.
Everywhere we look, women are perfectly advertised and held to this standard. At the grocery store, you check out and see The Sports Illustrated cover girl is busty but ever so thin. You get on social media, Instagram, Facebook, any dating app, and we’re all filtered and photoshopped. Everyone is erasing their imperfections to be their best self to hold up to what we see portrayed in the media.
Guys are spoiled. They are used to it. They come to expect the “Barbie Doll” as the norm; you got an extra 10 pounds on you? You better get rid of it. But the belly they have? We overlook it. We have too.
Men don’t have to spend that much money on their wardrobe to get a date, they barely have to roll off the couch and we have to be impressed by them. Hey, they showed up didn’t they?
We spend hours at the gym, diet, cleanse, facial treatments because god forbid we start to look “aged” in our late 20s, yet men look more distinguished with age.
However, the double standard that exists is glaring. Your male counterpart can be overweight with a ratty hoodie, and beat up sneakers and we’re supposed to be turned on by that.
Why are guys allowed to be disgusting and still get laid yet women have to be insanely perfect?
Because we let them. Women settle for guys below their grade all the time. Why?
Does Everyone Settle?
Women often lower their standards to accommodate a man for the sake of being in a relationship and having some much needed companionship. If he is a resting 4, he can get a girl who is an 8 and especially in a large city where there is so much “window shopping.” If you don’t want him, he can go to the next one. Gone are the days where you are his only choice, there is an endless array of beauties on dating apps—filtered and tweaked just ready to be the next girl in line.
With such a plethora of women and average level guys, women have been forced to lower their standards. Or, at least coerced too. Men’s privileged thinking they can have a girl with Barbie Doll looks of perfection and the expectation where such a disparity exists is just the nature of the game.
Women are subconsciously aware of this even if its not outwardly spoken and talked about in their social groups. Guys know they have the upper hand. They know they can get the cream of the crop or move on to the next best thing.
Girls settle for a guy that they are more attractive than; the guy feels lucky to be with her so he treats her extraordinary well and puts her on a pedestal. This makes the girl content that she “settled” as opposed to overshooting for someone at her same grade.
Will the Double Standard Disappear?
At the end of the day, women’s sexuality is more malleable than a man’s. Women can make themselves attracted to a guy they wouldn’t normally be because he treats her well, makes her laugh and gasp, makes her a priority! While a guy looks at a girl, and if he doesn’t want to bed her, she’s in the out tray. Maybe it’s just the true make-up of our gender but the guys that run games and the girls that put up with it, eventually grow weary of this cycle.
This makes that 4 or 5 guy even more alluring and you justify in your head, “I can put him a button up with some designer jeans and converses and it will be a new man.” With so few wanting to commit to a relationship, when you find a 5—sometimes you have to take what you can get and be happy you're out of the rat race.
Explain. And. Please. Don’t. Stop. This is what guys really come up with?
He coined it that when a guy dates for so long he feels like he can have it all. He can take this girl’s tits, that girl’s ass, and another’s petite features and make the perfect girl. I couldn’t believe what he was saying and the best part was he f*cking believed it-maybe this is why he was single at 38 and going out with a 29-year-old.
As a female, when you have been dating for a long time, you begin to realize the clear advantage men have. They can be so cavalier in their confidence and expectations that they have the nerve to tell you on the first date their standards in just looks for women.
Why Does the Barbie Doll Complex Exist?
There is a clear disparity that exists between the standard (which is perpetuated in the media and porn) that women are expected to operate at compared to the opposite sex. In the competitive dating world, women have to be pretty much perfect akin to a Barbie. They need to be waxed, highlighted, poised with the right clothes, and in-shape curves. On the other hand, guys only have to be “casual” in their appearance; we clap and get excited if they have a clean shirt on with no ketchup stains.
Everywhere we look, women are perfectly advertised and held to this standard. At the grocery store, you check out and see The Sports Illustrated cover girl is busty but ever so thin. You get on social media, Instagram, Facebook, any dating app, and we’re all filtered and photoshopped. Everyone is erasing their imperfections to be their best self to hold up to what we see portrayed in the media.
Guys are spoiled. They are used to it. They come to expect the “Barbie Doll” as the norm; you got an extra 10 pounds on you? You better get rid of it. But the belly they have? We overlook it. We have too.
Men don’t have to spend that much money on their wardrobe to get a date, they barely have to roll off the couch and we have to be impressed by them. Hey, they showed up didn’t they?
We spend hours at the gym, diet, cleanse, facial treatments because god forbid we start to look “aged” in our late 20s, yet men look more distinguished with age.
However, the double standard that exists is glaring. Your male counterpart can be overweight with a ratty hoodie, and beat up sneakers and we’re supposed to be turned on by that.
Why are guys allowed to be disgusting and still get laid yet women have to be insanely perfect?
Because we let them. Women settle for guys below their grade all the time. Why?
Does Everyone Settle?
Women often lower their standards to accommodate a man for the sake of being in a relationship and having some much needed companionship. If he is a resting 4, he can get a girl who is an 8 and especially in a large city where there is so much “window shopping.” If you don’t want him, he can go to the next one. Gone are the days where you are his only choice, there is an endless array of beauties on dating apps—filtered and tweaked just ready to be the next girl in line.
With such a plethora of women and average level guys, women have been forced to lower their standards. Or, at least coerced too. Men’s privileged thinking they can have a girl with Barbie Doll looks of perfection and the expectation where such a disparity exists is just the nature of the game.
Women are subconsciously aware of this even if its not outwardly spoken and talked about in their social groups. Guys know they have the upper hand. They know they can get the cream of the crop or move on to the next best thing.
Girls settle for a guy that they are more attractive than; the guy feels lucky to be with her so he treats her extraordinary well and puts her on a pedestal. This makes the girl content that she “settled” as opposed to overshooting for someone at her same grade.
Will the Double Standard Disappear?
At the end of the day, women’s sexuality is more malleable than a man’s. Women can make themselves attracted to a guy they wouldn’t normally be because he treats her well, makes her laugh and gasp, makes her a priority! While a guy looks at a girl, and if he doesn’t want to bed her, she’s in the out tray. Maybe it’s just the true make-up of our gender but the guys that run games and the girls that put up with it, eventually grow weary of this cycle.
This makes that 4 or 5 guy even more alluring and you justify in your head, “I can put him a button up with some designer jeans and converses and it will be a new man.” With so few wanting to commit to a relationship, when you find a 5—sometimes you have to take what you can get and be happy you're out of the rat race.
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